God is Love. Love is the character of God shed abroad in our hearts so that we are able to demonstrate affections towards God and others.

Relationship is basically relating to someone. You may relate to someone as a sibling, a parent, a working colleague, a school mate, a spouse, among others.

From my point of view, God is the defining factor in a relationship. As a Christian, if I want to express love to anyone I relate with, I look to how God has loved me. We love because He first loved us.

It lies on you who is regenerated to express the God kind of love to them. Mostly we have so much expectations for others and we quickly forget that it’s not even about how they react or treat us that matters but most importantly how we show them love.

Love is not the work of the one receiving it but the work of the one giving it. Love becomes complex if we try to use selfish motives to express it. When the end result becomes “all that I want” without having a thought of the other you want to express it to, it becomes complex to you. This is because you’d try to device every means to achieve your purpose which could hurt or break you down at the end.

As I pointed out, God is love and if we would set our affections on Him, we would be able to pass it on to others.

If I want to know love by the way you love me, I’d sometimes misinterpret your actions and do something that does not align with God’s show of love. If you want to know you love someone, the time comes where you realize that you want to give or share with them your time, emotions and your goods without a second thought, even if that’s all you have left.

Without love a relationship won’t last, where last means joy, peace, kindness and hope are present and constantly assured and being renewed.

People could pretend till death separates them.

These days we see that some guys are chasing some ladies just because they can have them in their bed and some ladies are after some men just so they can have their money. All these are selfish motives. After sometime when they are fed up or they start getting it from somewhere, they’d leave. Their selfishness has been satisfied against you.

At times love is conditional in relationships. When two people intentionally agree to love one another conditions for expressing love will surface but it wouldn’t be a strict condition.

For instance, while we were still in our sins, God unconditionally loved us by giving us His son to die for our sins. When we believe in/receive Jesus through faith, we come to know that all things work together for good to those who love God and that eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the heart of people, what God has prepared for those who love Him. That’s condition. It is only for those who love Him because they have received His love towards them and are enjoying it.

I mean to say that there’s a conditional aspect of love and the unconditional aspect of love.

Another instance—what would make me want to have an interest in your life the very first day I meet you is an unconditional love. You haven’t done anything for me but I want you to feel loved and okay on my own count and merit. That’s unconditional.

Now you accept my offer to be part of your life so that you also can be part of mine and I go on to get you a gift because you’ve given me a chance in your life, that’s conditional love expressed.

When someone shows you affection without you even asking for it or doing anything for the person, that’s unconditional.

When someone would like you to do something for them before they’d also do something for you, that’s based on a condition.

I’d say that every relationship requires love. And this love must be intentional. If you’re the one loving, be sincere and faithful.

We’re in a time where we mostly have different views about love. We try to interpret love by looking to different places and people and when solutions become hard to come by we make various conclusions about the effectiveness and efficiency of love.

I’d like to recommend to all of us to come to God and know His love for us. His love is not selfish, it doesn’t seek to do wrong, it is patient and kind. Though there are troubles in our world, knowing God’s love will help us to live peaceful with all men. If the Bible is our source for knowing God’s love we are safe.

From love comes all the virtues that build up a relationship. It is love that compels us to be at peace with others (making forgiveness and repentance sure), to be kind and gentle and to be patient, respectful, joyful with others, etc. Without love, we will fake these virtues. The virtues of love last.

I won’t say love is necessarily a commitment. It is more of a commandment. It is something that we must keep. So let’s say love is committing to God’s command. It should be the character of our lives if we have received God’s love shown to us through Jesus Christ. A commandment not in the sense of that which makes us right but something that shows who we are—the fruit of our new life.

The most important aspect in a Christ-centred relationship is the presence of Christ in it. Not for one person in the relationship but for both individuals, rightly defined for all parties and held high. As humans, we may fail in being loving at some point but the one who has God’s love will predominantly show signs of repenting as evidence of having received God’s true love.

Okay. For tips, I’d say let’s limit our expectations. We kind of expect too much from our partners to the extent that we overlook and fail to appreciate the little things they do. It’s quite unfortunate that in all this, we expect little or nothing from ourselves. However, we can’t build a healthy relationship if God is not the builder of it. Let’s desire God’s will and seek after it. That’s how best we can give way to love in the building of our relationships.

I’d add that love is best appreciated when practiced than when said.